Too Mucheey Hoochie & Chonchee and Too Mucheey Everything: Miss Universe 2015 Evening Gown Portraits
Photos courtesy of MissUniverse.com
In my last post HERE, I discussed my FAVORITES from the Miss Universe 2015 "Official Website Evening Gown Portraits" (as well as which designs disappointed me), so naturally, now it's time to talk about the Pageant Betty's and "Ayyy Mija!" designs--and one last special "Go-On Girl" Gown recognition...
Let's get to it--Let's begin with "Pageant Betty's"-----------------------------------------------------------
Miss Philippines Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach: I know, I know, I am sure everyone from here to the Philippines will hate me but I just thought that gorgeous Pia looked too old-school Pageant Betty in this design. Pia could look like a fabulous fashion model DIVA and instead, in this gown she looked like it was 1998 and she was a candidate in that year's Miss Philippines pageant. The gown is very "been there/done that". Not to mention those earrings...GIRL! And for some reason, all I could look at is how BIG her "sistahs" look; there too much focus on her big ol' breasts--with this strapless dress. On a good note: her face and hair style are flawless.
Miss Guatemala Jeimmy Aburto: Pink stretch lace--and silver crystals--plus the mermaid "lite" shape...well, they all add up to "Pageant Betty". She is very pretty and that pose is indeed, impacting. But, the gown, oh the gown: it's Too-Mucheey and Tacky.
Miss Haiti Lisa Drouillard: Oh Lisa, that is A LOT of Gown. I do appreciate the dynamic bubblegum pink color and silver sequin detail but...it's Too Mucheey, and it does give me "Pageant Betty" for it's heavy-handed style. At least she didn't do an up-do bouffant. I give her a couple of points for that.
Miss Panama Gladys Brandao Amaya: According to the Miss Universe website, Gladys is only 24 years old. But here she looks 34. I do like the unusual sequin and striped detail in the gown--as well as the color--but my main problem deals with the too-much peek-a-boo keyhole (Hola! That is my cleavage!) and the semi pouffed-up hair is a bit early 2000's Pageant. It's time for an update mija.
Miss South Africa Refilwe Mthiwunye: First off, I was a bit taken aback that she allowed the Miss Universe.com peeps to put in her bio that she won the "Miss Gangster" award during the Miss South Africa pageant. Not sure if I would of put that as a PLUS in my bio. But oh well. In terms of her choice of gown, it was very Pageant Betty. Now, don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful gown and it fits her nicely, but...this is not what you would see a Miss Universe wear to win, and definitely not what you would see on a top actress on a red carpet at a top awards show like Cannes or the Oscars.
Miss Denmark Cecilie Wellemberg: Cecilie is quite beautiful. I don't have that much of a problem with this gown--I do like the royal blue color and scroll-like sequin applique. But...the combination of all of that + the mermaid shape + her pouffy hair and big ol' earrings scream "Pageant Betty".
Miss Mexico Wendy Esparza: Did someone say 1997? What is with all the polyester charmeuse? And that matching lace? Ayyy mija! Oh, and of course, there's a side-front slit. And SILVER covered pumps? Someone please help her! At least she looks absolutely bella from the neck up--the hair and makeup are perfect!
Miss British Virgin Islands Adorya Baly: Let me begin on a good note--I love the canary yellow color. And I do like the flower-like sequin appliques. Where it all goes a bit tacky is the sheer netting, the center front plunging neckline showing her too-mucheey cleavage. I also think she could have added more makeup (what a novel idea for a pageant gal!?); she looks like she got up, just had her first coffee and well, had to do a photoshoot.
Miss Hungary Nikoletta Nagy: Nikoletta is quite pretty but she isn't going to be on anyone's Top Faves List with this dress. I like the emerald color but the side cowl draped detail looks more like curtains than Grecian Goddess. I'll be blunt: the dress looks polyester-cheap. And speaking of cheap: I DON'T WANT TO SEE THOSE STRIPPER PUMPS! And trust me: Neither do the judges. How many times do I have to say this?! If you need to wear them, by all means do. But hide them. Showing them makes you look cheap...and only highlights that you're short and therefore you need to wear these.
Miss Ghana Hilda Frimpong: Oh Hilda, it looks like you are leaving the pageant world and walking straight on to the set of the next Real Housewife of (fill in the blank). I usually discuss the "Slit Happy" Pageant Gals but seriously, Miss Universe Ghana and this dress took the Slit thang to another level; there are two slits and depending on how she walks, you could probably almost see her CHA-CHA. There's nothing cute about this. It's very "Oh Dear!" Chonchee.
Miss Malaysia Vanessa Kumares: Oh Vanessa, I give her points for looking all "Heyyyy Girl!" fab in this photo! She looks like a fun girl I want to have Dirty Martinis with. But then, there's that gown. It's a Pageant Oh Dear Too Mucheey Mess. She looks like the wife of a Millionaire Malaysian businessman at a New Year's Eve Party, as opposed to the next Miss Universe. It's also very 2004 dated in it's style; been there/done that huney.
Miss Australia Monika Radulovic: Monika is very popular with the Missosologists (i.e., Pageant Fans), she's one of the top faves for the Miss Universe 2015 crown. But then she wears this lace and chiffon gown. It's very off-the-rack and dated. We've seen this style and it was several years ago at past "Miss Universe" and "Miss USA" pageants. I expect something like this on an Eastern European pageant contestant in the Miss World Contest...But not at Miss Universe?? On a good note: her nude strappy heels are PERFECT, and so is her hair and makeup. Now, go change into a better gown darling.
Finally, I have to give a Special "Go-On Girl!" Evening Gown Portraits Award to Miss Universe Tanzania...
Miss Tanzania Lorraine Marriot: I was a bit on the fence on where to include this fabulous woman--Miss Universe Tanzania. I loved this photo. But...should be it be "Oh Dear!" or "Fab!". In terms of the "Miss Universe 2015 Evening Gown Portraits" on the website, there was no other like it--for good or not-so-good. For me, it was more good: She gave you DIVA! I liked this gown and the draped gold and emerald sequin beading on the torso which reminded me of Swahili-like East African jewelry. The entire look said "Fierce". Now, I am wondering how she could even walk in this gown--which looks like it's way too long for her. But for this photo, it deserved my "Go ON Girl!" Evening Gown Portrait "Nick Award".